10 Big Reasons to Love Your Gigantic Cankles

Whenever I attempt to purchase new shoes, especially ankle boots, loafers (which I have given up as a food group entirely) and anything with a strap around the ankle or leg, I am on high cankle alert. I may have been born with a killer set of legs – graziamo a Dio – but they definitely came with the highest price tag. Fucking cankles. And boy are they ever brutal.

Basically, my calves and feet are connected by a stump, which, I’ve always been so curious about. How does a cankle form? And secondly, can you get rid of it? I notice that when I go to hot yoga, I start to get more shape in my ankles (probably losing the water weight). Guys, I’ve even Googled ankle liposuction – yes, it exists. And no, I haven’t ruled it out.

Oh and how much I just adore other people’s ankles. Literally DM me a pic of your ankles right now if they have that little indent, pronounced Achilles tendon. My boyfriend has the most gorgeous ankles and I fucking hate him for it. Yes, it has crossed my mind to pull a Gattaca in the middle of the night whereby I saw off his ankles, and attach them to my own legs. Alex, if you’re reading this, it’s too late.

I’m not alone in having cankles. Some of the most famous women (and the most beautiful women) have actually been cursed by the same fibula demons. Miley Cyrus, Mariah Carey, Alicia Keys, Cheryl Cole, Kim Kardashian and even Hillary Clinton, all cannot rock an ankle boot without some sort of trepidation. I mean, these are grown ass women who will quite likely go into hysterics if anyone within a 5-metre radius says the name Mary Jane.

I know I do.

So, I’ve come up with a shortlist of reasons to love your cankles. (NB: there was never a long list).

  1. Where I’m from in Italy, they say that women who have cankles are good in bed.
  2. You have impeccable balance.
  3. You’re probably amazing at yoga, ballet, dance and any other sport that requires massive calve strength. (I’m now beginning to see why reason #1 could actually be true…)
  4. You’ll literally never break your ankle.
  5. You can get low, on the dance floor, in 7-inch heels without even flinching. (And you can come back up without clawing at the closest bystander)
  6. You probably have other amazing features to make up for your cankles like great legs, intelligence and fabulous hair.
  7. Running out of reasons…
  8. They say that people who have cankles have a higher IQ than the average person
  9. Making shit up now…
  10. People who have cankles stick together so don’t make fun of us cuz we travel in packs and we’ll use our strong-ass stumps to drop kick you into next week.

Do you or someone you love have cankles? Leave me a comment below and let’s talk about it.

xoxo,

img_2119-copy

Illustration by Karen Koh of theillustrienne.com; shoes are Valentino.ย 

 

13 Comments

  1. November 7, 2016 / 11:49 am

    ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ Great read! Yes to your boyfriend having nice ankles but triple yes to yours. I’m obssesed with great legs and cankles and get sad when I lose weight because I want to keep my derriรจre full and my semi cankles thick. I’m from the island and curves are a plus. Cankles look so great in heels too. Just think someone somewhere is crying over their skinny ankles and at least you have the options to keep or remove.

    • Justine Iaboni
      November 7, 2016 / 11:59 am

      OMG you’re killing me!!! This has to be one of the best comments I’ve ever received!!! Love it. Finally someone who loves the look of cankles. I have to admit, I’m only recently getting used to the way they look in shoes but I LOVE them in Flatforms! I think cuz the platform/flatform is so chunky, I love a thicker ankle to balance it out. Otherwise it looks funny. YA EFF THOSE SKINNY ANKLE BITCHES! (I’m just joking lol) But it felt good to say that. hahaha. Thanks for reading! Keep being you (aka fabulous). xoxo J

  2. November 7, 2016 / 11:51 am

    Me! Me! And all the women in my family! Love this article! Made me giggle! Thank you for the laugh and keep them coming, you rock!

    • Justine Iaboni
      November 7, 2016 / 12:01 pm

      YAAAAAS cankle bitches unite! (Have you ever seen that episode of Weeds with Kevin Nealon and the cankle bitch? I CRIED). Thanks so much for reading my post and leaving a comment. It’s nice to know people are out there picking up what I’m putting down. xoxo J

  3. November 8, 2016 / 1:34 am

    You never fail to make me laugh! I’m not familiar with the cankle struggle; but I do have some twiggy ass ankles! I can say that when wearing high heels my twigs feel like they’re going to snap in half! You’ve def got an advantage ๐Ÿ˜‚

    • Justine Iaboni
      November 8, 2016 / 10:26 am

      GET OUTTA MY FACE! hahahaha girl, you have won the lottery of ankles!!!!!!!! I would much rather have my ankles snap like a twig than be the tree trunk where a family gathers around to have a picnic.

      Thanks for stopping by! xoxo J

  4. November 8, 2016 / 9:40 am

    Hilarious.

  5. Maria
    November 16, 2016 / 9:28 am

    I can’t begin to explain how happy this post made me. I am too, a cankle sufferer, and sometimes I make my husband put his leg over mine in front of a mirror just so that for a second I could inagine what it’s like to have beautifully thin ankles… I don’t even notice the hair. I’ll take it! He obviously thinks only I notice but I know other cankle sufferers are aware. My cankles make me look bottom heavy so I’m always struggling to dress myself in any of the latest trends… and my god are skinny jeans that don’t leave horrendous marks in my calves and ankles difficult to come by! And because my husband and I are the same height, I rarely wear heels… but flats for cankles is a tricky business. It’s inspiring to see someone laugh it off! The struggle is real! Would love to see more posts about this!

    • Justine Iaboni
      November 17, 2016 / 1:30 pm

      OH MY! AHHHHH you’re making me die right now with tears of joy. I can’t believe you make your husband do that – it is genius!!!! I’m going to get my bf to do that for me when he gets home later!!!! You’re brilliant! Omg the marks on the legs after wearing skinny jeans. LOL we took a picture of it once it was too funny. I feel you, Maria. It is tricky business indeed. And yes, there are WORSE things in the world but I can’t help but feel like, sometimes, these cankles are just like a thorn in my side. I can live with it, but fuck, is it annoying. Good luck and know next time you look down at those gorgeous canks that there are actually some girls (who commented on this post) who ENVY those with cankles!!!! We always want what we can’t have, eh. Take care babe! xoxo J

  6. Justine
    February 3, 2017 / 9:55 pm

    I know it was awhile ago that you posted this. Maybe it’s a Justine thing! I’m Justine too! Wtf with the cankles. I’ll be 33 this year and I’m JUST coming to terms with this affliction. Loved the read! Thank you!

    • Justine Iaboni
      February 9, 2017 / 2:52 pm

      HAHAHAHA all Justine’s have cankles, it’s a prerequisite! LOL you’re hilarious. Ugh, I’m sure a lot of it is water weight. But I feel you, no loafers for us. Thanks for the comment and for reading! I’ll be writing more Justine-related afflictions soon. xoxo J

  7. MDS
    February 26, 2017 / 12:41 pm

    Wow, I do not understand l. I love woman that have cankles or thick ankles. Women that look like or are shaped like an Alicia Keys, Michelle Trachtenberg, Paula Garces, or Minka Kelly. These are beautiful women with totally sexy legs. I think that you women that possess this totally unique and sexy trait should be happy about it. There are many men that think your legs are wonderful. Do not hide because you are locked into a mindset of Americans Next Top Model. Please I can not really look at those skinny bird leg women. They are pretty however they have no shape and do not compare to the above women that I mentioned. Give me a young Jennifer Love Hewitt any day over an ANTM or ant model. There you have it. You women better start enjoying what you have because time passes and by time you realize it, it will be gone.

    • Justine Iaboni
      March 1, 2017 / 3:28 pm

      Ain’t that the truth! Thank you so much for shedding light (and a male perspective) on this!!!!!! I am going to look down on my ankles more lovingly from now on. Cankles 4 LYFE.

      XOXOXO J

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *