This post is informally titled: How Stella Got Her Snapchat Groove Back.
Over at the tents, a few of us gathered round to discuss the latest social channel making a hard comeback from dick pics in favour of CNN news briefs and barfing rainbows. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: Snapchat.
Despite WMCFW not being cool enough to get their own Snapchat tag (eye-roll) being on Snap is as cool as you can get these days, some say. Others are slowly feeling their way around the new territory of imperfection and fleeting media. If we like Instagram for its staged beauty and aspirational feeds of ice cream cones being held up against coloured walls worldwide, then Snapchat is the antithesis – that’s why it’s so hard to get into the groove of it. What do you mean I can’t liquify my thighs and bump up the whites?
The people who try to make Snapchat just as beautiful as Instagram, in my opinion, are misusing the app. But save for talking into the camera about your avocado salad and the shit you just took (guilty as charged), what else is one to do with it? It’s all about finding your Snapchat groove, as I like to call it. Do what works for you, is most authentically integrated into your daily meanderings and stick to it.
Some people get it right, some people get it wrong. I’ve seen unboxing snaps (yawn), riding a bike and snapping (worst), mirror snaps, dog snaps, in da club snaps (please stop these it just sounds like someone snapping from inside a shower) and so on. I do love a funny moment snap when the gods align an innocent bystander doing something stupid and your dexterity in perfect sync.
But do I really want to be trolling the city for slapstick moments every day of my life?
Which got me to thinking existentially (feel free to up my bounce rate at this paragraph). Are we headed to a dangerous place where we really do become slaves to the machine? Like, if I’m spending my whole day with my iPhone in hand waiting to snap everything I do, am I even living?
I mean, the people who, like me, sort of talk into the camera like I’ve got my own talkshow and nobody cares, are still able to maintain some quality of life outside Snapchat. But what about those people who are beginning to think of new ways to use the app? Let’s say creating a trope or creating an account for a dog or a barbie doll. Imagine doing a stop-motion Snapchat account for Socality Barbie every day. What of the human being staging all of this – you’ve become subordinate to an inanimate object whose artificial life has become more important than your own. You’re drinking out a styrofoam cup so that a doll can have a miniature Starbucks mug and a croissant every morning.
Call it parody, call it ingenuity, call it a marketing scheme. I can’t help but see what a waste of time and of life it all is. So before you try to think of a cool way to use Snapchat by making an account all about cupcakes or shopping hauls or baking donuts or girls eating donuts or boys with crooked teeth, I would ask yourself: “Am I living to snap or snapping to live?”
I think snapping for vanity is the best answer out there. Snap your day and then before you go to bed, replay your story like a bedtime lullaby. I mean, that’s what I do and it feels authentic as fuck.
Have you got your Snapchat groove on? I’d love to know what your favourite type of snaps are and which ones you absolutely cannot stand (even mine!). Leave a comment below….