Ah, Andy Csinger. Who the heck even knows what she looks like? I love this nouveau anonymity play that IG has enabled by somehow making it possible for girls to become famous without ever having to show their face. She has more followers than me and I don’t even know for certain if she has eyebrows. The world is a scary place. But her tan is goals so I suppose that’s worth the #follow4follow. Anyway, if you want to copy her style – from the waist down – here’s 5 things you should do:
Never wash your face or cut your hair shorter than shoulder-length. If you do cut your hair, make sure you have a wig slash broomstick holding a wig to sway over your shoulder when taking that IG #viewfromabove.
When in doubt, wear pink, Levis 501 in Rolling Coast and stripes. Use palm trees as your walking stick. And flatlay, flatlay, flatlay.
Make sure you have one hand visible in all photos at all times. Preferably in a loose, curled fist with your index finger raised as if to say, “Oh excuse me, young man, may I have more gooseberries in my cobbler?”
Purchase 5 pairs of Stan Smiths and alternate them every day of the week. With the money you save on bronzer and tinted moisturizer, you must use it to get a pedicure on the regular (and a bikini wax). Girl has less problems showing her crotch than she does her face.
Always throw a chunky, floor-length sweater over it. Your face, I mean.
This post was sponsored by my true love for Andy Csinger however it is a parody of what is truly an amazing Instagram aesthetic that I truly wish to copy one day. XOXO J