How to Pick the Right Handbag

H&M shorts // Nella Bella handbag // Mango turtleneck // Lacoste Lortenia sandals // Ray-Ban Wayfarers 

Actually, this post should be entitled: How NOT to Pick the Right Handbag. Fuck man, the struggle is real. Sorry, I have to be a tad crass today when talking about handbag purchases thanks to Neiman Marcus’ Midday Dash emailer that just landed in my inbox at 8am on the west coast. I’ve filled my virtual shopping bag with three pairs of shoes so far and have yet to circle back to the checkout. In fact, I’ve abandoned the entire enterprise in favour of circling back to the few windows I had open on my laptop (the Neiman Marcus spree was taking place on my mobile as I was still in bed, racking up a bill of $1200) – which is completely counterproductive as only rappers and CEOs can safely blow thousands of dollars before they brush their teeth or floss their grilsl in the morning. I might make a thousand dollars over the next month. Translation? I have no business clicking through the Midday Dash email.

In fact, I think I’ll unsubscribe. Maybe.

Just a few days ago, Jane Birkin (in an act that seems to be heralding from an inflated sense of self or that yonder year je ne give a fuck, which I hope to develop both the former and the latter) anyway, Jane wants her name off the Hermès Birkin Bag but only in crocodile and PETA subsequently purchased one share in the luxury company in an attempt to affect change from the inside. Naturally this had me thinking more about bags than about crocodiles. Am I a horrible human being? Well, truth is I’ve been thinking about bags for some time now and my lack thereof.

My bag collection is so bad, guys. I look at it and cringe. What. The fuck. Was I thinking? All those Gucci monogram bags that cost me a fortune at the time. Then Tom quits, Frida drives the brand into some obsolescence disco phase and all I’m left with are these ghastly bags as the brand soars into a completely opposite direction. I should have known better. And yet here I am, about 6 Gucci bags in and only one Bottega Veneta to show for it.

The only bag I love, love, love is my Louis Vuitton Neverfull. It was a gift from one of my old boyfriends because I wanted to buy it anyway (it was all my idea) and then he got it for me for my birthday (to my chagrin – no just kidding I was totally relieved because at the time I did not have the money for it one bit). So, I’ve got the LV Neverfull. I’ve got a decrepit LV Accessories bag I bought in Grade 9. I’ve got a LV wallet that I don’t use anymore because I don’t like the shape and my trusty LV coin purse, which I use more than anything else and was the cheapest of them all.

And of course, my prized, satin intrecciato Bottega Veneta clutch with snakeskin trim. A life investment.

But now, I’m stuck. I have enough money to purchase a new bag (or will most likely have enough to pay it off in the next few months) – whatever, I’m in good shape and have convinced myself that investing back into my business, home and life commitments has been wonderful but it’s been a long time since and mama needs a new bag. Plus, I’m a fashion blogger. I can always justify that part of my job is to have style on the tip of my tongue.

Only problem is, I don’t know which bag is worth investing in – I mean, I do – but not for myself personally. It’s like the shoemaker with no shoes, so to speak. I follow the industry like a hawk. There seems to be no consistency with buying unless we’re talking about the consistency in buying the “IG It-Bags.” You know, the Chloé Marcie, the Chanel Boy Bag, the Prada Saffiano tote, Mansur Gavriel everything, the Givenchy Antigona & Pandora etc, etc. Just the fact that they are so popular kinda turns me off.

I ask myself, though, is this precisely why I’ve purchased the wrong bags in the past? Scrolling up you can see the only two bags I own that I’ve managed to love are the two most “popular” styles. The Neverfull and the Intrecciato clutch. Would it do me good, then, to pick up a Céline and secure the triumvirate?

Instead, I have my eyes on the the Chloé Georgia, a Louis Vuitton Malletage Alma, and some runway one-off denim version, which is sure to ignite a buyer’s regret that will burn in the night like acid reflux.

The saga continues….

 

Justine Iaboni