Jetset Beauty | Tanned Hands

Conceited people of the Birkin-gripping, Eddie Borgo-coning, stackable juste un clous, on clous, on clous; there is a new accessory in town. A rebuttal to the “throw a camel coat on it” trend, the next foolproof outfit trope is a silky smooth pair of almost-Snookie-hued hands. French manicure, optional.

Tanned hands make everything look better, contrary to whatever Blaine Anderson thinks. What used to be a privilege of those fresh from an all-inclusive week in Cancun is now a perennial possibility. Once I discovered how to achieve the same sun-kissed effect using a self-tanner – oh baby, I was in business!

I’ve spent countless hours researching just how light you can leave the space in between your fingers before people start to notice. Tanning my hands has become part of my daily routine; an art I can only hope to perfect in time. I mean, it revolutionizes everything – from the colour nail polish I can wear to those moments of latent vanity staring down at my hands in admiration while I’m driving.

Think about it. What makes a woman gripping a fashion show invite, her iPhone and a designer clutch seem so enviable? Why, it’s the patina of her hands. If you have naturally dark skin, you’ve got the perfect canvas for all the merriment. Neon orange nail polish, gold jewellery, holding a Starbucks cup the way it was meant to be held. Forget what the magazines want to tell (sell) you. Instead, let me sell you on a bottle of St. Tropez bronzing mousse and it won’t matter from how many seasons ago is your handbag.

For ultimate supremacy, do your feet, too.

And for the inept ones out there, don’t do your palms and heels.

Justine Iaboni