L*Space Ixtapa Bikini top // L*Space Ixtapa Bikini bottoms // Ray-Ban Aviators
Leaves or Roses? That was the decision I had to make yesterday upon entering flower mecca at Avenue Rd and Davenport. Isn’t it always peculiar how cities have flower shop dedicated streets were florists go head to head (and bulb to bulb) vying for customers. I’m sure there is some statistic about the third shop in the line getting the most business and the fifth one always changing hands. Or how about that numbers one, two and three are all owned by the same person but go by different names just to mind-fuck everyone a little bit.
Like charcuterie, fresh cut flowers on their deathbed are a sign of success. Right now as I write this, five violet roses adorn my Ikea desktop casting a shadow like a money tree. They are dying and I am rich, is what it says. The bittersweet, fleeting beauty of cut flowers is something every blogger must at least once in their careers – and for the sake of their Instagram feeds – consider. The proverbial pink peonies is now a recipe for affiliate link success. Throw in a peony and you get at least 100 more likes. Duh.
If you’re more of a monochromatic, edgy-wedgie blogger (think Haute Pursuit) you eschew buds for foliage. A stark white canvas with scintillating emerald photosynthesis is the quintessential accompaniment to anything from Acne, Celine and Mansur.
There are some adornments that swing both ways, the pineapple being one that comes to mind. It can be both cute and chic, but with its lesser known function – that is, the one of being edible – it’s just not extravagant enough to be a true signifier of Linkshare money.
No, leaves are better. The banana leaf I bought yesterday cost me the same price as 6 stems of roses. The florist assured me that she a. didn’t own the store next door (but I know from a good source that she does) and b. the leaf will outlive (or out-die?) the roses. So, I’m ballin with this banana leaf that costs about the same as working one hour at minimum wage and feel completely justified because my stocks are up. I mean, if I had stocks they would be up. (I’m thinking of getting into day trading, if you have any picks let me know. These leaves are steep!). Maybe I should invest in some floral stocks – do those exist?
Like I need to know the company that is supplying these banana leaves and buy as many shares as I can with whatever money I have leftover from yesterday’s flower bonanza.
I’m going to be the Green Thumb of Wall Street.
I know, that was too corny for even my liking. I should just delete it but I think maybe one or two of you chuckled. Admit it!
