#PantyPurge

Aritzia cotton blouse // Paige Denim Fiona Flares in Optic White // Nine West wedges // Ray-Ban Wayfarers // PANDORA bracelets // Taudrey Star Plate necklace // PANDORA “Love” necklace 

I have to send a huge shout-out to my boyfriend today who gave me my “eureka!” moment during a short bout of writer’s block. Just a few minutes ago he emerged from our bathroom and said, “I see you’ve done what one might call a #PantyPurge?” Yes, I answered. One might call a small clump of old undies thrown into the bathroom trash can on top of tissues and used Q-tips a #PantyPurge – I just wish I had thought of the hashtag and not him!

So, as you all know I’m painstakingly reading the Japanese guide to living like Pope Francis, the world’s first minimalist papacy, and part of that entails throwing out your old underwear. Or at least, that’s my literal interpretation. Truth is, my underwear drawer (if you can even call it that; it’s more like a secret compartment in a plastic bin from Canadian Tire – yes, that’s How I’m Livin’) it’s way too full and I only ever use the first one-third of the things in there. The rest disappears into an abyss of overstretched Classic Girl cheekies and that time I thought I was an “Italian Vixen” (true story) amassing elaborate lace twinsets from Yamamay.

Yesterday, I hit my breaking point. Folding my cheap Victoria Secret Hipsters – full bum underwear is all I wear nowadays (peep the VPL in my white jeans) cuz I cannot STAND the muffin top effect some thongs give me let alone the feeling of having a thin piece of lycra shoved in between my nether regions. I know, I know, thongs are like Birkenstocks – the more you wear them, the less you feel them. You “break them in” so to speak. But after switching to full bum a few years ago, I’m just too lazy to do the legwork all over again.

And I digress. Anyways, I was folding my cheap undies thinking: shit, I should buy a few more. You know, the old 3 for $30 bins at VS. And then the Franciscan monk in me thought, well, I should really get rid of some before adding more undies to my pile. I remember Mme. Dariaux (I often quote her if you haven’t noticed by now) says in A Guide to Elegance that Frenchwomen own very few, but very expensive underwear and they replace them very often. This would be like instead of buying 50 pairs of Victoria Secret underwear and wear them to death for the next 5 years, you buy one or two pairs of La Perla underwear and replace them every 6 months. It works out to about the same amount of money and yet feels SO MUCH MORE LUXURIOUS.

So that’s where my #PantyPurge comes in. God bless my boyfriend who has to see all of this and can just make light of it. I know he probably thinks I’m a lunatic deep down and he’s absolutely right. I am. I write about throwing out my panties for god’s sake. But why shouldn’t we be writing about it?!?!? We need to let each other know that it’s OK to throw out your underwear even if it has no holes or stains – which, I hope you’re doing at the bare minimum. But beyond that, just get rid of the old undies you don’t wear anymore and buy yourself something nice. I might even get rid of all my underwear and replace it with two exquisite La Perla pieces. My drawer will look so beautiful, I might lay a candle beside it or some flower petals. How’s that for piety?

Ok now that you’ve read this post and fawned over my outfit – I urge you to go to your underwear drawer and tell me a. there isn’t stuff in there you haven’t worn since 2005 and b. get rid of one pair and then c. leave a sticky note for the next person with the word #PANTYPURGE. Join the movement.

Justine Iaboni