WTF is a #SquadGoal?

WTF is a #SquadGoal?

Pardon my ignorance, but why is it that all of a sudden it’s cool to have an unbreakable bond with other human beings just in case you decide to shoot a music video and need people to dance around behind you wearing sunglasses, throwing out illegible gang signs and stanky legg? I don’t know about you, but my girlfriends and I have basically been doing that since the day we met.

Have you ever seen us pull up to the club?

Problem is, as much as we women like to have our squads, the drama of it all can be either the glue that binds the group or the fire that watches it burn. Girls require drama and gossip – even the most intelligent women (ahem) can all benefit from a good ole’ session of  “Can you fucking believe what she said to me?”

It’s therapeutic. Talking shit is like my equivalent of confession at church. You know, I never understood the act of confessing your sins to a priest until I just wrote that sentence. Confession is basically a gossip session:

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, but so has that bitch, Stephanie. Yes, I’ll confess, it was me who wrote her that nasty email. I’m sorry I did it, but if you only knew the things she’s been saying about this new guy I’m seeing to Veronica behind my back. Like, what would you do in my situation? Turn the other cheek? Exactly. She’s going to hell for sure, like, who does that? Oh, she hasn’t been in here yet to tell you about it, eh. Just you wait. Five bucks she’s gonna come by after midnight mass like the little hoe that she is and make it seem like it’s all my fault. Five bucks and five Hail Mary’s? Ok. I can do that.” 

Do we ever really mean all the nasty things we say about our friends? Not in the least. But the reality is other human beings are bound to drive you crazy or piss you off or act like all of a sudden they need a lobotomy. If you don’t vent about it once in a while, you’re never gonna make the cut for the squad. The true #squadgoal is to have a group of friends who you can gossip to – and gossip about – but know that you still have each other’s backs when the chorus comes around.

Also, man, I never trust a bitch who doesn’t gossip or talk shit. Those are the real dangerous women that if I were you, I would stay far far away from. Talking shit makes you vulnerable and I don’t know why, in a twisted way, allows you to bond with another woman. 

Wanna know the way to gain my friendship? Take me aside at the next cocktail party and tell me about the girl who just snubbed you at the slider station for a pulled pork skewer – that bitch! 

Illustration by Karen Koh of The girls are wearing Maison Michel ears and Valentino dresses


    • Justine Iaboni
      July 12, 2016 / 11:24 am

      Hey Thuy! Omgosh I’m so glad you said that – it’s like the ultimate compliment for me!!!!! Thanks for stopping by! xoxo J

  1. July 4, 2016 / 12:39 pm

    LMAO GIRL YOU SPEAK MY MIND. Loved this post and I wish I could personally send it to the intelligent girls who think gossiping is a sin but it’s true what you say, they’re just dangerous AF.

    Gunjan |

    • Justine Iaboni
      July 12, 2016 / 11:25 am

      Hehe! Hey girl! I know isn’t it true!!!! Gossip is therapy man. I swear, when I used to have a therapist I was basically paying someone to listen to me gossip about this and that hahaha. So bad. Hope you’re having a fabulous day and thanks so much for continuing to read! xoxo J

  2. July 5, 2016 / 9:05 am

    “Also, man, I never trust a bitch who doesn’t gossip or talk shit. Those are the real dangerous women”
    I will and would quote that forever and ever.

    This post is gold!

    • Justine Iaboni
      July 12, 2016 / 11:25 am

      LMAO! Thanks babe. You da best! xoxoxo J

  3. July 5, 2016 / 2:18 pm

    Hysterical! You are so right!

    • Justine Iaboni
      July 12, 2016 / 11:26 am

      Aw I’m so glad you think so :) Thanks for reading and commenting! xoxo J

  4. Jocellyn
    July 5, 2016 / 3:25 pm

    Never trust a bitch who says “I just hate drama” either… When that phrase is used, expect a shit load of it to follow haha.


    • Justine Iaboni
      July 12, 2016 / 11:26 am

      OMG isn’t it so true!!!!!!!! The people who say they hate drama are THE MOST DRAMATIC. myself included. muahahahahahaha

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